What is it that keeps us from loving? I mean the kind
of love which is the focus of http://gordonfeil.blogspot.ca/2016/11/love-that-never-dies.html.
Love is an attitude, and it operates in a mindspace
that is not occupied by other focuses. The three big ones that tend to steal
the space where love should be are security, sensation and power.
Three big and basic Desires
The desire for security is the most basic of all, and
when we are operating with that in our consciousness, our fears are easily
triggered. This isn’t just about physical security, but also about the need to
be loved. Anyone who does not feel loved does not feel secure.
Once our desire for security is satisfied, the desire
for pleasure can predominate. Who wants to be bored? But when pleasure is
taking the centre of our mindstage, love is not our focus.
It seems that once we have enough security and
pleasure, then the focus easily shifts to power: we want it. The ability to
dynamically affect the events of life and the people who precipitate them and
participate in them.
Security, pleasure and power focus our attention and
guide our conduct away from love. The Bible acknowledges this condition. Very early
we read of Eve examining the fruit of a special tree (Genesis 3:6) and seeing that
it “was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree
was to be desired to make one wise”…..”good for food” = security; “a delight to
the eyes” = sensation/pleasure; “desired to make one wise” = power.
Near the end of the Bible, the same trio of motives
are recognized when at I John 2:16 an apostle writes about “the lust of the
flesh” (the desire to be safe/secure), “the lust of the eyes” (the desire to
please the senses), and “the pride of life” (characterized by a lust for
power).
And in between, we see this hierarchical trio arising
in the telling of the life of Jesus (actually, the English name Joshua more accurately
reflects his given Hebrew name). There is what is known as the temptation in
the wilderness (Matthew 4; Luke 4) in which Jesus is tempted to turn stones
into bread (security…he was starving), to make a 400 foot jump from a tower
(pleasure), and to have rulership over the world (power). And when he explains at
Luke 8:14 that people are spiritually “choked by life’s worries, riches and
pleasures”, it looks to me like he is referring to security, pleasure and
power.
(These desires are reviewed again at
(These desires are reviewed again at
Solving the Problem
The Bible answer to this condition is what is called the
holy spirit, a much misunderstood concept. The great teacher Paul says that
that holy spirit in a person’s life leads to “fruits” that he lists at
Galatians 5:22, and the first three in that list mitigate the drive for
security, sensation and power that keep us from loving. First, he lists love.
If you have love in your life, you are secure. Then he lists joy. When you have
that joy, you don’t feel the need to search for pleasure. The third he lists is
peace. That peace obviates the need for power. When you have peace of mind, who
needs power?
This is my first time hearing about these 3 pillars of love (so to speak) and I think they do a good job at covering the bases. I think if any of these are missing in a relationship, it could definitely call into question the merit of the two people's love. On the other hand, people do love in mysterious ways, and I doubt love is really simple enough to boil down to three aspects. Very interesting read.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, thanks for the comment, but I think you missed my point. The striving for security, pleasure and power are NOT "pillars of love" but are HINDRANCES to it. Love is a motive. So are each of those three. When you are operating with the pleasure motive,for example, you are not operating with the love motive. They are mutually exclusive.
ReplyDeleteReading it over again I realize I misunderstood. Yet I still think that I agree with my original interpretation. I think anyone searching for love should also be searching for security, pleasure, or empowerment, as these are all things which should be provided within a loving relationship. You see them as stealing the space where love should be, I see them as factors which create a healthy loving relationship.
DeleteWords are sometimes slippery and often do not communicate the meaning we intended. "Perfect love casts out fear" (look it up). "Love is letting go of fear" (and that also). Fear is a response to insecurity and love is what defeats fear; ergo, love produces security. What I am saying, though, is that we have this drive for security which we often try to satisfy in ways that are unloving. Aim for love, and security is a result. Aim for security, and love will not be the result.
ReplyDeleteI don't see "empowerment" and the drive for power, of which I wrote, as being the same thing. Love is empowering indeed because it provides the security that allows a person to take a risk.