Saturday 24 December 2016

My Addictions



I observe in myself that my basic drive is for security.  I want to be safe. Not just physically, but emotionally as well.  I want to be loved.  I also want to be needed because if I am needed, I am obviously valuable and so will be loved.   I am not saying that it’s real love, but it’s what my insecure self feels.  If I don’t have it, I feel alone and even afraid. And if my needs for food and safe cover are not met, then I also feel fear. Fear is a way of me rejecting what’s going on.

Once my security needs are satisfied, then my mind itches for pleasure.  I want to have fun.  If I don’t have it, I feel restless, bored, frustrated, and generally irritable --- other ways of rejecting the here and now of my life.

Suppose I am feeling secure and am having fun, am I satisfied?  Nope. Now I want power.  I want to dynamically affect people and events.  Part of that is the need to be effective.  It feels like I am more valuable and safer if I am effective.  Just like when my security and pleasure “needs” are not being met, when my power need is unsatisfied I feel emotions that are symptoms of me rejecting what is happening in my life.

These drives are a problem because they don’t allow me to tune into reality.  They keep me from seeing what is really happening. One of the ways they do this is by distorting my perceptions.  If I am operating with the security drive triggered, it blows the security aspects of my situation all out proportion to what they really are.  Something happens, and I focus not only on the threats in the situation, but on what I fear the threats might grow to be.  Of course, what I fear most rarely, if ever, happens; so this means I have an illusion gripping my attention.

This condition of life is discussed more at



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