Freeing Myself to Love

We discussed how we have desires related to security, pleasure and power which are properly characterized as addictions (http://gordon-feil-theology.blogspot.ca/2017/05/what-is-gods-love.html). They are not needs.  They trigger unhappy feelings when we do not satisfy them.  These feelings can be extremely painful at times.  They can totally engage us and distract us from a path of healthy productive behavior.

Our tendency, when experiencing these feelings, is to try to dynamically affect what’s happening so that we get what we want. We try to force situations and circumstances to change into conformity with what we believe would eliminate those painful feelings triggered by those addictions.

These separating emotions and the resultant actions we take in order to compel life to conform to our desires result in a destruction of our tranquility.  Instead of experiencing a peaceful awareness that all is well, we experience a pain that keeps us from loving.  Love is an attitude, and that attitude finds no home in the mind that is consumed with life’s hurts.

If we want to be able to love, we need to get rid of those addictions.  We can have preferences instead.  If I agree to watch a movie with you and it turns out to be a total yawner for me, my pleasure addiction can cause me to feel bored, irritable and impatient.  Those are separating emotions.  They are me rejecting what is happening.  They are me refusing to accept my here and now.  I will want to force a change.  I may complain and even argue with you about it.  I may leave. I may lose myself in other thoughts.  All are ways to force the situation to change.

Instead, I can choose to be free of those addictions so that I am operating from a peaceful perspective in which I am centered (not being pulled this way or that by my emotions).  This is a principle from which Paul draws the admonition to “cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit and live a holy life in the fear of God.”¹ (II Corinthians 7:1).  When I am centered, I then have freedom to love.  I have freedom to accept what is happening, be cool with it, not be wrapped up in resultant painful emotions, and allow love to preoccupy me.